Plastic Surgeon Survey: Demand For Butt Implants Blew Away Hair Transplants And Boob Jobs This Past Year

Bloomberg - The American Society of Plastic Surgeons has released data that show broad declines in both minimally invasive and surgical cosmetic procedures as a result of pandemic closures in 2020, though differences in how long offices were closed and regional restrictions may have influenced some changes.

Botox and soft-tissue fillers remained the most popular overall. But the biggest riser was butt implants, up 22%, from 970 to 1,179. (Implants are what provide volume; a butt lift merely turns a droopy pancake butt into a toned pancake butt.)

Dermatologist Ava Shamban points to homebound stagnation—“modern-day ‘secretary spread,’ or a general flattening of the buttocks.” And let’s not forget Instagram. “Presumably, seeing the higher, tighter rounder assets on social media or any number of reality distractions, had patients researching and ultimately scheduling procedures to give their bottom line a much-needed boost,” she says.

There was an 8% uptick in breast implant removals last year. According to Dr. Lisa Cassileth of Cassileth Plastic Surgery and Skincare, implants have a shelf life and will eventually fail. “The population of aging implants is getting greater every year, so part of this is just a reflection of the boom we have had in implants over the years.”

This one falls on Sir Mix-A-Lot's shoulders.

"LA face with an Oakland booty" was seared into every kid growing up in the 90s brains and has become the standard for beauty in those now grown up women's minds.

This is startling news and trending in a direction that's not good for anybody. Male or female!

Ladies let me level with you for a minute. 

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY thinks this is attractive. Nobody thinks you look better with giant sacks of chemicals in your bum than you do without. Nobody.

And by nobody, I'm referring to normal, rational, good people.

Sure drug dealers, gang bangers, and other miscreants probably think this shit is hot. But is that who you're trying to attract by going this route? If so than more power to you. But if that's not the case then there needs to be an understanding.

You can't mope around and post stuff on facebook and Instagram complaining about there "not being any good guys out there" or ripping on men for being pieces of shit because you got cheated on for the hundredth time when you're strutting around with twin dump trucks in your pants. You just can't. You go to bed with dogs you wake up with fleas. You wanna know where all the "good guys" are? On the sidelines trying to do physics and geometry equations in their head on how sex with you would even work. From there the next thought is what it's going to look like in 10 years and by then they're usually out. If not, then they think next about what if it actually worked out with you and what mom and dad would say if you sashayed in the front door behind him to meet them. If their moms didn't disown them then its what would nana think? (Grandpa would probably be into it but he's a hornball so he doesn't count).

Also, no physical "upgrade" in the world is worth not being able to sit down for 6 months like the poor girl in the pics above. 

Long story short butt implants are to women what calf implants are to men. Just don't do it.